If there is one thing I will not miss when I birth this little angel it is all of the unsolicited/unasked for advice non-pregnant people think they can toss my way simply because my belly is bulging with baby. Why today alone:
*I’ve been told not to use those soft head-support thingies for newborns.
*I was told to keep walking (despite P A I N).
*I was told to keep eating extra calories (despite HAVING NO ROOM in that region anymore).
*I was told that since I haven’t dropped, I won’t be going into labor anytime soon, because afterall, ALL babies drop before going into labor – which, btw, is utterly false.
*I was told my face looks like it has gained a bit of weight (then was told that no, it doesn’t). Which made me want to say to the first idiot: ”You’re lookin’ a bit chubby there yourself around your middle”. Then reach for that middle and give it a pinch or two. Moron.
That’s just in one day. Different people. All on their own. Without me saying a thing or initiating any sort of conversation. It’s as though the world sees a pregnant woman and that triggers the idiot button in their brain which makes them babble all sorts of stupid shit. Take for instance, earlier in the week when meeting with the Pediatrician (who herself is a mother and should KNOW better but then again I believe birthing a baby initiates an amnesia trigger, whereby women forget their entire birthing experience – which makes them do it again – as well as forgetting their pregnancy experience) who told me the majority of women, upon giving birth, turn into weeping, overly emotional creatures who cry at silly things and that it is the very small minority who experience joy and elation. No sooner had she said that ridiculous comment but did she then add that “THOSE are the women none of us like!” (the ones who are joyous).
I mean, WTF??? Are people that damn stupid and insensitive? Oooh, I spy a pregnant woman. Let’s go dump some stupid ass comments on her already overflowing plate. Why should we stop and ask how she’s doing? Why should we even think to ask if she NEEDS anything? Why be sensitive and attentive when we can be ARROGANT, PRESUMPTUOUS AND INSENSITIVE?
I’ve decided if I go through pregnancy again, I am going to have the experience on a small island in another country where people are more thoughtful and sensitive. Where the birthing process is truly supported, acknowledged. Where the question “How are you what do you need?” is the FIRST THING that is presented to the woman. Where old wives tales are left for the non-pregnant crowd and where people are selfless enough to be MORE interested in the pregnant woman in front of them than they are in spouting their (all too often) false, stupid dribble.
I swear….this experience is just confirming my belief that Westerners are too often downright self-centered and aloof.
*the preceding was presented in high def and full color by a pregnant woman who is at 37 weeks along, who is sleep-deprived and thus feeling punchy and is liable to smack anyone or anything that speaks, mutters or even thinks a thought that pisses her off…
